Insane people get angry about a Coke ad in which America the Beautiful is sung in different languages. Apparently you’re only allowed to be American if you speak English.
WHEN YOU TRY TO PUSH YOUR GLASSES UP BUT END UP ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHING THE LENS AND MAKING IT DIRTY
Dad jokes brought to you by Rick Grimes
STOP THIS MADNESS
“i haven’t eaten anything since last year”
“i remember 2013 like it was yesterday”
“i think i’m pregnant! haven’t gotten my period since last year”
Someone wrote a little story on the wall in the college toilets
"There once was an old man who took long walks on the beach every morning. One day he saw a young man dancing in the distance. As he got closer he realised he wasn’t dancing at all, but reaching down and throwing small crabs into the sea. "Young man, what are you doing?" he asked. "Throwing crabs back into the sea" he replied, "they’ll die if I don’t help them." The old man looked down at the hundreds of small crabs scattered on the beach for miles. "But there must be millions of them," the old man told him aghast. "You can’t possibly make a difference." The young man bent down, picked up another crab and threw it into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one.""